“Then God saw everything that He had made, and indeed it was very good. “
According to reports from DoSomething.com over 75% of females between age 15-17 battle with low self-esteem of some form. Other reports concur that increasingly disparaging results have surfaced as a result of growing social media trends.
One of the greatest weapons we possess is coming into the awareness of who we are! Mohadesa Najumi suggests
“The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet.”
For it is in this self-awareness that we are able to walk in purpose, build healthy relationships, and reach our full potential….
Despite my current knowledge of the significance of self-esteem, my earlier years were plagued with consistent identity battles. I was regularly presented with challenging this idea, as I had another person identical to me that I was often compared to.
The saying “Comparison is the thief of joy” is nothing short of the truth. Having a twin sister was rather difficult to navigate at a young age. While it was a major blessing on one hand, on the other, while unaware of my individual value, it became that of a curse. Daily I was surrounded with opinions of who was better looking, the better singer, most funny, most intelligent, and the list goes on.
It didn’t help that I was also the shy twin. I recall relying heavily on my sisters voice…So much so that I barely knew what my own sounded like. You would literally see the 2 of us, but you’d only hear one.
Funny thing is, I remember having a boyfriend (you know how that puppy love goes lol) in elementary school who I just adored.. I thought he was so cute.. But, I wouldn’t say anything to him. lol I was so shy….Thankfully I had my Martha to do all the talking for me…lol It was so sad..
It wasn’t until my sister got married that I was thrust out there to truly discover who Mary truly was.. Man that was such a scary time for me….Years Prior, Martha and I had such great plans for our future together… It was always our plan to get married on the same day, have our kids on the same day…. And get this…We even said we’d live on the same estate togetherlol.. We constructed this blueprint that I drew, which consisted of two large homes connected together by an archway..My house on one side, and Martha’s on the other… That would’ve been so great!
Yeah, Martha’s husband shut that down really quick. lol
Overtime, I began to truly see value in just Me…I began to learn that my life mattered apart from Martha. Eventually this new found self-awareness became medicine to me. I didn’t mind going places alone, singing by myself, or even speaking. No longer did I need Martha to be my mouth piece or my source of comfort. I could finally stand on my own two feet… Seemed that daily God began revealing to me who I was.. He began peeling off the layers of insecurities that I had accumulated over the years..I learned that God created ME special and that he placed gifts in ME that had nothing to do with my sister …. Over time I became less prone to shy away from what scared me, but rather run toward those things…Doing it afraid..
Path to Increased Self-Worth
William Shakespeare coined the phrase “Above all else, to thine own self be true.” Of course this statement can be interpreted in many ways.. However, I like to think of it as a means to an end; a declaration to choose You above anything else… To become aware of who YOU are, love who YOU truly are, and ultimately understanding that You are Perfect just the way you are, as Bruno Mars would sing (:
This means developing a self defined opinion based solely on what’s real; Not fictious points of view that we gather primarily from the opinions of others.. We must gain this self-awareness from within and our Creator.
There are 3 Key take aways that are necessary to implement in order to develop true self-identity.
1. Change your Thinking
“For As a man thinks, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7
****Seek to discover what the creator says about you.
The manufacturer of any product creates a design, a blue print, essentially a plan…. He/she establishes how it will look, how it will function,and even what its purpose will serve. With that in mind, just as we as the consumer seek understanding about a product prior to purchase, we must also seek that same awareness about ourselves as uniquely designed individuals…
To fully live productive lives we must seek the purpose we serve, the functions we are meant to perform, and the people that are connected to that design… This all comes from our manufacturer, the creator…
So what does your creator say about you?? What better place to find the answer than the word of God?
In addition to these, below are a few that have blessed me over the years:
Ephesians 2:10 says
For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.
But ye [are] a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should show forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
1 Corinthians 6:19
Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?
2. Change your Language: Speak Positively| Begin to speak over yourself.
The power of Life and death lies in your tongue Proverbs 18:21
Reflecting back over my journey of overcoming low self-esteem I recall numerous days that I forced myself to speak the opposite of what I saw or thought. Instead of allowing my ears to hear the negative things I thought, I began to speak what I wanted to see… What I wanted to believe… I began looking in the mirror that I often shied away from, declaring “I am beautiful, I am fearfully and wonderfully made, I am special, and today I choose to be happy!”Instead of allowing myself to fall victim to the negativity that I too often allowed to penetrate my thoughts, I decided to take control. And You must do the same!
Choose to speak what God says about you. Just because you think a certain way about yourself, doesn’t mean it is true. If what you think is contrary to what your creator (God) thinks, it is not reality. Base your reality on God’s reality…This will change your whole life!
Cleanse yourself from all the things and People that are not good for you…When detoxing, naturally, most people start by first listening to their body….Listening to how it responds to what it has been consuming…What it may be lacking, or even possibly getting too much of. Then they begin finding ways to compensate or purge in those areas.
In this regard, when building self worth a detox requires similar steps. You must first listen to your body.
What is your heart, mind, and spirit telling you? It is important to do a self analysis…
Ask yourself the following questions:
- What are you intaking into your spirit? How do you feel after?
- How do you feel when you are around certain people?
- How do you feel when you are doing certain things?
- After doing or being around the people you generally surround yourself with, are you left feeling empty? Less than? Or inadequate?
- Do the people you surround yourself with empower you or bring you down?
- Overall, are the relationships you have healthy or detrimental to your health?
After this analysis, begin to cleanse yourself of anyone and anything that does not mean you good. After this detox you will find that you feel so much better! You will see a major change in your thinking, language, and your overall health.
In summary, remember no one knows you better than YOU. But, sometimes you must really do some self discovery to find out who you really are. This awareness only comes from God. Knowing who you are is one of the most powerful weapons you can have! Take the necessary steps to ensure that you are living the most fulfilling life possible! It starts with YOU!
Know that You are perfect just the way you are!